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He does because?

I joined my family happily eating in the hotel's breakfast room. The girls with their waffles and fruit and my husband with his sausage gravy dumped over biscuits. Internally I cringe. Knowing that will eventually make him ill later on in the day. I could see it play out in my mind, he begins to feel a little odd and he will wonder out loud "Why am I feeling so bad?" It's a game to him.

As I sat down I asked about everyone's breakfast. The girls eagerly filled me in on the yummy waffles. I turned to Keith, eyebrow raised, not saying a word. My eyes dropped to his plate and back to him. He knows I'm thinking "What in the heck are you doing eating this right before we drive 500 miles home?" He looks at me and says "I eat biscuits and gravy so I can be beautiful."

And we all know beauty comes at a price.
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Sydney said…
My husband is the same way! I need to do some actual documentation to prove it to him (not that it'll make a difference), but he cannot eat tomato sauce + sausage/spicy or heavy meat without feeling terrible later. It even happens if we have spaghetti bolognese one night and sausage the next with no tomato sauce the next (or the reverse order). He refuses to believe that delicious tomato sauce is the cause of his woes. "But it didn't happen last time we had pizza," he says. "Not that you remember, do you?" I rejoin. He rolls his eyes and does his "that is a very annoying thing to say" glare. And I do my, "Yeah, that's what I thought" gloat. And he eats what he wants anyway because he's an adult and I'm not his mother. Oh sure, when he feels terrible later, he's all ears for whatever suggestions I care to make. Food diary to positively identify the culprits? Yes, let's do it! No more red sauce/sausage within two days? I couldn't eat it again if I wanted to, the memory is ruined!

I love Keith's response. It's positive; it's teasing; it's the response of a man who desires to keep the peace as well as do what he wants. Also, it's clever. Which is a always good lesson for children: if you want to get your way, you should be clever, funny and kind rather than a big jerk box who yells and makes crazy accusations. (That is, of course, the modus operandi of every teenager ever. Like my coworker's daughter, who interprets her soccer coach's complements to other players as silent, secret insults to her. Just, wow.)
11:59 AM
Yvonne said…
One of these days our Boys have to meet. For some reason I think there are many similarities, they'd get along well. And if not then they could play computer games and eat bad for them food together.
2:24 PM
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